Use a growth mindset that sees challenges as opportunities, not a fixed mindset that avoids them.
Your Brain is a Muscle, Not a Statue.
Imagine two people at the gym. The person with a fixed mindset sees a heavy barbell and thinks, “I can’t lift that. I’m not strong enough. I’ll just stick to the light weights to avoid failure.” Their ability is a fixed, unchangeable statue. The person with a growth mindset sees the same barbell and thinks, “I can’t lift that yet. That weight is the very thing that will make me stronger. This is my opportunity.” They see their brain and abilities as a muscle, knowing the only way to grow is to struggle against heavy resistance.
Stop seeking external validation from likes and comments. Do develop a strong sense of internal validation instead.
Be a Generator, Not a Solar Panel.
Imagine your self-worth is the power source for your home. If you rely on external validation, your house is covered in solar panels. Your lights are bright only when the sun (likes and praise) is shining. On cloudy days, or at night, your house is dark and cold, leaving you desperate for the next sunrise. Internal validation is building your own powerful, reliable generator in the basement. It doesn’t matter if it’s stormy or sunny outside; you have your own internal, unshakable source of power that you control, keeping your house bright and warm, always.
Stop comparing your chapter 1 to someone else’s chapter 20. Do focus on your own unique journey of improvement instead.
You Can’t Read Two Books at Once.
Imagine you’re sitting down to read an exciting new book: “The Story of Your Life.” You’re just getting into the first chapter, meeting the main character and learning the basic plot. Now, imagine you keep putting your own book down to peek at the final, climactic chapter of someone else’s book. You’d feel confused, inadequate, and like your own story is boring and slow. The only way to enjoy your journey is to close the other person’s book. Focus on turning your own pages, one at a time, and watch your unique, compelling plot unfold.
The #1 secret to building unwavering confidence is to consistently keep the promises you make to yourself.
Your Confidence is a Bank Account of Self-Trust.
Think of your confidence as a bank account where the only currency is trust in yourself. Every time you make a small promise—”I will wake up on time,” “I will go to the gym”—and you keep it, you make a deposit. Your self-trust balance grows. But every time you break that promise by hitting snooze or skipping the workout, you make a significant withdrawal. If you constantly make withdrawals, you end up with a bankrupt self-trust account. Unwavering confidence is simply the massive fortune you build after years of making consistent, daily deposits.
I’m just going to say it: The “black pill” ideology is a toxic, self-fulfilling prophecy for lonely men.
The Farmer Who Curses His Own Field.
Imagine a farmer who is convinced his plot of land is cursed and that nothing will ever grow there. Because of this core belief, he never bothers to till the soil, plant any seeds, or water the ground. He just stands there all season, watching the barren, dusty patch of dirt. Then, at harvest time, he points to the empty field and proclaims to everyone, “See? I told you this land was cursed!” The “black pill” is this exact trap. It is a belief system that guarantees failure because it convinces you not to even try.
The reason you’re not happy with your appearance is because of your harsh, negative internal monologue.
You Have a Bully Living in Your Head.
Imagine if you had a person who followed you around all day, constantly whispering insults in your ear. “Your nose is crooked. Your hair is thinning. You looked awkward in that conversation.” You would be miserable and insecure. For most of us, we don’t need an external person to do this; we have a harsh, relentless bully living inside our own minds. You would never tolerate a friend speaking to you that way, yet you allow this internal voice to abuse you constantly. Your appearance isn’t the problem; the bully is.
If you’re still blaming your genetics for your lack of progress, you are adopting a victim mentality and giving away your power.
You’re Blaming the Car for the Way You Drive It.
Imagine two people are given the exact same model of car. One person complains, “This car is just not a race car. Its genetics are average. It’s not worth trying to improve it.” He leaves it in the garage to rust. The other person says, “Okay, this is my car. How can I get the absolute most out of it?” He tunes the engine, adds better tires, and learns to be a masterful driver. Blaming genetics is like being the first driver. You’re giving up before the race even starts by focusing on what you can’t change.
The biggest lie you’ve been told about “faking it till you make it” is that you should be inauthentic; it’s about acting as if you are already the person you want to become.
You’re Rehearsing for the Role You Want to Play.
An actor who is cast as a king doesn’t just show up on opening night and hope he feels royal. He spends months rehearsing. He walks, talks, and thinks “as if” he were already the king. He isn’t being fake; he is intentionally embodying the role until it becomes his reality. “Faking it till you make it” is this rehearsal. You act “as if” you are already confident, disciplined, and successful. This isn’t about being inauthentic; it is the very process by which you authentically become the person you aspire to be.
I wish I knew that my perception of reality was shaped by my thoughts, and that I could change my thoughts.
Your Mind is a Pair of Glasses You Can Change.
Imagine you were born with a pair of glasses permanently fused to your face that had murky, scratched, gray lenses. You would go through your entire life believing that the world is a dark and blurry place. You wouldn’t question it; you’d believe it was reality. Your thoughts are those lenses. If they are negative, your reality will be negative. The most powerful realization in the world is that you are not the glasses; you are the one wearing them. You can learn to clean the lenses or even swap them for a clear, new pair.
99% of people who want to change their life make this one mindset mistake: they focus on what they don’t want instead of what they do want.
You Can’t Drive Forward by Staring in the Rearview Mirror.
Imagine trying to drive a car to a beautiful new destination, but you spend the entire time staring intently into your rearview mirror, fixated on the ugly town you’re leaving behind. You’d be swerving, you’d be anxious, and you would almost certainly crash. Focusing on what you don’t want—”I don’t want to be fat,” “I don’t want to be broke”—is driving with your eyes on the past. To move forward, you must turn your gaze to the windshield and focus clearly on the destination you want to reach.
This one small habit of writing down three things you’re grateful for every morning will permanently change your outlook on life.
You’re a Gold Miner Training Your Eyes to Spot Gold.
A novice gold miner just sees a river full of mud and rocks. But an expert miner has trained his brain to instantly spot the tiniest fleck of gold among the silt. His reality is different because he knows what to look for. A gratitude practice is this exact training. Your life is a river full of events. By consciously forcing yourself to find three nuggets of “gold” every single morning, you are retraining your brain to automatically spot the good things during the day, transforming your entire perception of the world around you.
Use detailed visualization of your desired outcome, not just wishful thinking, to program your subconscious mind for success.
You’re an Architect Drawing a Blueprint, Not a Child Making a Wish.
Wishful thinking is like a child closing their eyes and wishing for a beautiful house to appear. It’s a vague, powerless fantasy. Detailed visualization is the work of an architect. You don’t just wish for a house; you draw a detailed, high-resolution blueprint. You mentally walk through the rooms, feel the texture of the countertops, and see the sunlight streaming through the windows. This detailed blueprint is a set of clear instructions that you hand to your subconscious mind, which is the construction crew that will work tirelessly to build it.
Stop being a victim of your circumstances. Do take radical responsibility for every aspect of your life instead.
You’re the Captain of Your Ship, Not a Passenger.
A passenger on a ship is a victim of circumstance. If the ship heads into a storm, the passenger can only complain and blame the weather or the captain. They are powerless. But you are not a passenger. You are the captain. You may not be able to control the storm (your circumstances), but you have absolute control over your response to it. You can steer the rudder, adjust the sails, and navigate the waves. Taking radical responsibility is grabbing the captain’s wheel and acknowledging that you alone are responsible for reaching your destination.
Stop just passively consuming self-help content. Do take massive, immediate action on what you learn instead.
You’re Collecting Cookbooks But Never Entering the Kitchen.
Passively consuming self-help content is like spending all your time and money collecting the world’s most beautiful and inspiring cookbooks. You can read them for hours, admire the pictures, and learn all the theories of cooking. But if you never actually step into the kitchen, pick up a knife, and start chopping vegetables, you will starve to death in a room full of recipes. The knowledge is worthless without the action. The goal is not to have the most cookbooks; it’s to cook a delicious meal.
The #1 hack for overcoming a limiting belief is to find concrete evidence that contradicts it.
You’re a Detective Proving a Witness Wrong.
A limiting belief—”I’m bad at public speaking”—is like a convincing witness who takes the stand in the courtroom of your mind and testifies against you. You can’t just tell it to go away. To win the case, you must act like a detective and find concrete, undeniable evidence that proves the witness is a liar. Go and speak at a small Toastmasters club. Record yourself. Get a small win. Now you can present the evidence: “The witness said I was terrible, but here is a video of me successfully giving a speech. The witness is not credible.”
I’m just going to say it: Your comfort zone is a cage, and the only way to grow is to step outside of it.
A Potted Plant Cannot Become a Mighty Oak.
A small oak sapling planted in a comfortable, climate-controlled pot can live a safe and easy life. It will never have to face the wind, the storms, or the struggle for sunlight. But it will also never grow beyond a few feet tall. It is trapped by the very comfort that protects it. To become a mighty oak tree, it must be planted in the wild, outside of its comfortable pot, where it will be forced to grow deep roots and a thick trunk to withstand the challenges of the world.
The reason you procrastinate is not laziness; it’s a fear of failure or a fear of success.
You’re Afraid of the Monster Under the Bed.
Procrastination is like being a child who needs to get out of bed but is terrified of the monster lurking underneath it. The “laziness” of staying under the covers is not the real problem. The real problem is the fear. The “monster” could be the fear of failure (“What if I try my best and it’s not good enough?”) or, surprisingly, the fear of success (“What if I succeed and my life has to change?”). You’re not lazy; you’re just scared to put your feet on the floor.
If you’re still letting the negative opinions of others control your actions, you will never reach your full potential.
You’re Letting Spectators Steer Your Ship.
Imagine you are the captain of a ship on a voyage to a magnificent, undiscovered island. As you’re sailing, you pass a shoreline filled with random spectators who have never been on a ship and have no idea where you are going. They start yelling, “You’re going the wrong way! Your sails are ugly!” If you let their opinions cause you to turn your ship around, you are giving control to ignorant, irrelevant bystanders. A true captain tunes out the noise from the shore and keeps their eyes fixed on their own map and their own destination.
The biggest lie you’ve been told about motivation is that it’s something you wait for; it’s a result of taking action.
Motivation is the Caboose, Not the Engine.
Most people think motivation is the powerful engine of a train. They wait at the station, saying, “As soon as the motivation engine shows up, then I’ll be able to go.” So they wait forever. But they have it backward. Action is the engine. The simple, disciplined act of starting is the powerful locomotive that begins to move the train forward. Motivation is the caboose at the very end of the train. It only comes along for the ride after the engine has already started moving.
I wish I knew the power of daily meditation for detaching from my negative thoughts and emotions.
You’re the Sky, Not the Clouds.
Your thoughts and emotions are like the weather. Some days are sunny and calm, others are stormy and dark. Most people believe they are the weather. When a dark, stormy cloud of anger or sadness appears, they become the storm. Meditation is the practice of realizing that you are not the clouds; you are the vast, clear blue sky. The weather is just something that is temporarily passing through you. This allows you to sit peacefully and observe the storm as it comes and goes, without getting swept away by it.
99% of people who set New Year’s resolutions fail because their “why” is not strong enough.
Your “Why” is the Fuel in Your Car’s Tank.
Your goal is a destination, and your plan is the roadmap. But your “why”—your deep, emotional reason for wanting the goal—is the fuel in the tank. You can have the best destination and the most perfect map in the world, but if your fuel tank is empty, your car is not going to move a single inch. A weak “why” like “I guess I should lose some weight” is an empty tank. A powerful “why” like “I want to be healthy enough to play with my grandchildren” is a full tank of high-octane fuel.
This one small action of writing down your goals and reviewing them daily will make you unstoppable.
You’re Giving Your Brain a GPS Destination.
Your subconscious mind is a powerful, sophisticated GPS navigation system. But a GPS is useless until you type in a specific, clear destination. Simply “thinking” about your goals is like vaguely wanting to go “somewhere nice.” Writing your goals down and reviewing them daily is like typing a precise street address into the GPS every single morning. This act programs the destination into your subconscious, which will then work tirelessly in the background, calculating the best routes and pointing out the right turns to get you there.
Use a daily journal, not just the chaotic thoughts in your mind, to gain clarity and process your emotions.
You’re Untangling a Mess of Wires.
The thoughts and emotions in your head are like a massive, tangled ball of wires behind a television. It’s a chaotic, confusing mess, and you can’t tell where one wire starts and another ends. The act of journaling is like methodically taking that ball of wires and untangling it, one wire at a time. You lay each thought out on the page, label it, and see how it connects to the others. This process transforms the overwhelming chaos in your head into a clear, organized diagram on the page.
Stop being a perfectionist. Do embrace the “good enough” and take messy, imperfect action instead.
You’re Waiting for All the Traffic Lights to be Green.
A perfectionist is like a driver who refuses to start their journey until they can be guaranteed that every single traffic light between their house and their destination will be green. They will wait forever in their driveway, paralyzed by the need for a perfect, obstacle-free path. The successful person starts driving, knowing they will hit red lights. They accept that they will have to stop and start. They embrace the messy, imperfect journey, and as a result, they are the only ones who actually arrive at the destination.
Stop just chasing fleeting moments of happiness. Do build a life of meaning and purpose instead.
You’re a Butterfly Chaser, Not a Gardener.
Chasing happiness is like chasing a beautiful butterfly. You might occasionally catch one for a fleeting, joyful moment, but it will quickly fly away, leaving you searching for the next one. It’s an exhausting and endless pursuit. Building a life of meaning and purpose is like becoming a gardener. You stop chasing and instead focus on cultivating a beautiful, vibrant garden. Then, one day you realize your garden is so magnificent that it is filled with hundreds of butterflies, and you didn’t have to chase a single one.
The #1 secret for developing mental toughness is to voluntarily expose yourself to small, controlled discomforts.
You’re Vaccinating Your Mind.
A vaccine is a small, controlled dose of a virus that you intentionally inject into your body. This small challenge teaches your immune system how to fight, making it stronger and more resilient for when a real threat comes along. Voluntarily seeking small discomforts—taking a cold shower, having a difficult conversation, doing one more rep at the gym—is a vaccine for your mind. You are intentionally exposing it to a small, controlled dose of hardship, which trains your “mental immune system” to handle the much larger, unexpected challenges of life.
I’m just going to say it: You are not your thoughts; you are the observer of your thoughts.
You’re the Moviegoer, Not the Movie.
Imagine you’re in a movie theater. The movie playing on the screen is full of drama, fear, and chaos. This movie is your stream of thoughts. Most people believe they are the characters up on the screen, getting lost in the drama and feeling every blow. The secret is to realize that you are not the movie; you are the person sitting calmly in the theater, watching it all happen. You can observe the scary scenes, acknowledge them, and then simply let them pass, knowing that the movie is not your reality.
The reason you lack confidence is because you have no history of winning; start by setting and achieving very small goals.
You’re a Boxer Building a Win-Loss Record.
Confidence is the result of your brain looking at your personal win-loss record. If your record is full of losses and forfeits (broken promises and failed goals), your brain will not believe you can win the next fight. To build confidence, you must stop scheduling title fights against the heavyweight champion. Instead, schedule a fight against an incredibly easy opponent. Make your bed. Go for a 10-minute walk. Win. Now you have a victory on your record. Stack these tiny, guaranteed wins, and soon your brain will have undeniable proof that you are a winner.
If you’re still dwelling on past mistakes, you are robbing your present self of energy and focus.
You’re Driving Forward with Your Foot on the Brake.
Your focus and energy are the gas pedal that propels your car forward into the future. Dwelling on past mistakes is like driving with your other foot pressed firmly on the brake. You are burning a massive amount of fuel, creating a lot of noise and smoke, but you are moving forward at a painfully slow crawl, if at all. The past is a dead weight that is actively working against your forward momentum. To accelerate, you must consciously choose to take your foot off the brake.
The biggest lie you’ve been told about willpower is that it’s an unlimited resource; it’s more like a muscle that can be fatigued.
Your Willpower is a Smartphone Battery.
You start your day with your willpower battery at 100%. Every decision you make—what to wear, what to eat, whether to answer an email—drains a small amount of that battery. Resisting a donut in the breakroom is like using a power-intensive app; it drains the battery significantly. By the end of a long, stressful day, your battery is in the red. Relying on willpower to make good decisions at night is like expecting your phone to stream a 4K movie when it’s at 2% battery. It’s going to shut down.
I wish I knew that failure is not the opposite of success, but a crucial stepping stone on the path to success.
Failure is the Staircase, Not the Wall.
Most people view failure as a solid brick wall. They run into it, and they assume it’s the end of the road. They give up and go home. But this is a complete misunderstanding of its structure. Failure is not a wall; it is a staircase. Each “failure” is a single step that you must climb to reach the next level. It is the necessary, unavoidable, and most important part of the journey. Success is simply the view from the top of the staircase that is built entirely out of failures.
99% of people have a deeply negative relationship with failure and will do anything to avoid it.
You’re a Scientist Who Throws Out Every Failed Experiment.
Imagine a scientist trying to cure a disease. They run an experiment, and it fails to produce the desired result. If that scientist, out of shame and fear, immediately burns all their notes and pretends the experiment never happened, they have learned nothing. A successful scientist treasures their failed experiments. They study the data, figure out why it failed, and use that new knowledge to design a better experiment next time. Most people are the first scientist, treating failure as a shameful secret instead of their most valuable source of data.
This one habit of reframing every failure as a “data point” will change your relationship with risk.
You’re a Baseball Player, and Failure is Just a “Strike.”
A professional baseball player who strikes out is not a “failure.” He has simply gathered a data point. The pitcher threw him a curveball, and he swung too early. He walks back to the dugout not with shame, but with new information for his next at-bat. When you reframe your own failures this way—a failed business, a rejection—you remove the emotional sting. It wasn’t a verdict on your self-worth. It was just a “strike.” A valuable data point that you can now use to adjust your swing for the next pitch.
Use positive affirmations in the present tense (“I am confident”), not just wishful thinking (“I hope to be confident”), to reprogram your mind.
You’re Giving Your Brain a Command, Not a Suggestion.
Your subconscious mind is like a loyal but very literal soldier who only follows direct commands. Wishful thinking, like “I want to be confident,” is a weak suggestion. The soldier doesn’t know what to do with it. An affirmation in the present tense, “I am confident and charismatic,” is a clear, direct command. You are telling your subconscious that this is the current reality. The soldier hears the command and immediately gets to work, looking for evidence and changing your behavior to make the command a reality.
Stop seeking comfort and certainty. Do learn to embrace challenges and uncertainty as the path to growth instead.
The Lobster Must Abandon Its Shell to Grow.
A lobster grows by shedding its hard, protective shell. As it gets bigger, its comfortable shell becomes a prison. To continue growing, it must endure a period of extreme vulnerability, hiding under a rock without its armor while a new, larger shell hardens. Seeking comfort is choosing to stay in the old, tight shell forever. Embracing challenges and uncertainty is the brave act of shedding that shell, knowing that the temporary period of vulnerability is the absolute requirement for all future growth.
Stop just focusing on the end goal. Do learn to fall in love with the daily process and habits.
You’re a Mountain Climber Who Loves the Climb, Not Just the Summit.
If your only source of joy is the moment you reach the summit of the mountain, your entire journey will be a miserable, grueling slog. You will spend 99.9% of your time in a state of dissatisfaction. The key to a sustainable and joyful journey is to fall in love with the process of climbing. Learn to love the feeling of your muscles working, the beauty of the trail, and the rhythm of your breathing. The summit is just a brief, fleeting bonus. The real reward is the person you become during the climb.
The #1 hack for building discipline is to stop negotiating with your own mind and just do the thing you said you would do.
Your Mind is a Toddler, and You are the Parent.
When your alarm goes off, your mind is like a crafty toddler in a car seat. It will start whining, negotiating, and making excuses: “Just five more minutes! I’m too tired! We can go to the gym tomorrow!” A bad parent negotiates with the toddler, and the toddler always wins. A good parent says, “I hear you, but we are going anyway. The decision has already been made.” Discipline is treating your mind like that toddler. You acknowledge the complaint, and then you calmly do the thing you, the parent, already decided was important.
I’m just going to say it: The “law of attraction” is useless without the “law of action.”
You Can’t Win the Race from the Grandstands.
The “law of attraction”—visualizing your goals and having a positive mindset—is like being a race car driver sitting in the grandstands, perfectly visualizing every turn and flawlessly imagining yourself winning the race. It’s a great mental preparation, but it is utterly useless if you never leave the stands, get in the actual car, and press the accelerator. The “law of action” is the act of getting on the track and driving. The visualization is the map, but the action is what moves the car.
The reason you’re not where you want to be in life is a direct result of your daily, seemingly insignificant, habits.
Your Life is a House Built of Bricks.
Your life today is a massive, complex house. And that house was built one single brick at a time. Each daily habit—hitting snooze, scrolling on your phone, eating junk food—is a single, seemingly insignificant brick. But laid consistently, day after day, year after year, these small bricks have created the very structure you are now living in. If you want a different house, you can’t just wish for it. You must start the slow, methodical process of laying a different kind of brick, every single day.
If you’re still hitting the snooze button every morning, you are starting your day by breaking a promise to yourself.
You’re Starting the Day with an Act of Self-Betrayal.
The night before, you made a clear, simple promise to your future self: “We will wake up at 6 AM.” When that alarm goes off, you are at a critical crossroads. By getting up, you honor that promise, starting your day with an act of integrity and building a tiny deposit of self-trust. By hitting the snooze button, you are betraying the promise you made just a few hours earlier. You are consciously choosing comfort over commitment. It seems small, but you have started your day by telling yourself that your own word is not to be trusted.
The biggest lie you’ve been told about finding your passion is that it’s a single thing you discover; it’s something you build.
Passion is a Fire You Build, Not a Treasure You Find.
The myth of passion is that it’s like a hidden treasure chest you’ll one day stumble upon, and once you find it, your life will be perfect. So people wander around, waiting to find it. But passion is not a treasure you find; it’s a fire you build. You start with a tiny spark of curiosity about a topic. You feed that spark with the kindling of learning and the small logs of practice. As you get better, the fire grows. Passion is the roaring bonfire that results from the consistent effort of building something.
I wish I knew that my identity is not fixed and that I could reinvent myself at any time.
You are the Sculptor, Not the Stone.
Most people go through life believing they are a finished stone statue. They think their identity—”I’m an anxious person,” “I’m not a morning person”—is a fixed, unchangeable reality. The liberating truth is that you are not the stone. You are the sculptor. You have the chisel and the hammer in your hands, and at any moment, you can decide to chip away a piece of the old identity and begin sculpting a new feature. Your identity is not a noun; it is a verb. It is a work in progress that you are actively creating.
99% of people who try to change their habits fail because they rely on motivation instead of changing their environment.
You’re Trying to Sail Against the Wind.
Relying on motivation and willpower to change a bad habit is like trying to sail a small boat directly against a powerful headwind. You might make some progress through sheer, exhausting effort, but the moment you get tired, the wind will push you right back to where you started. Changing your environment is like turning the boat around and letting the wind fill your sails. By removing junk food from your house or putting your gym clothes by your bed, you are making your desired habits the path of least resistance.
This one small change of focusing on improving just 1% each day will lead to massive transformations over a year.
It’s the Power of Compound Interest.
If you have a dollar and you add one cent to it, it feels like nothing. But if you could increase its value by 1% every single day, the magic of compounding would turn that dollar into a fortune over time. Trying to make a huge, dramatic change in your life is often impossible. But the small, almost unnoticeable habit of getting just 1% better every day—reading one more page, doing one more pushup—compounds on itself. Over a year, that tiny daily effort results in a transformation that is 37 times greater than where you started.
Use a mentor who has achieved what you want, not just trying to reinvent the wheel all by yourself.
You’re Following a Map Instead of Bushwhacking.
Trying to achieve a major goal without a mentor is like being dropped in the middle of a dense, unexplored jungle with only a machete. You have to bushwhack your own path, getting lost in swamps and climbing the wrong mountains. It’s exhausting and inefficient. A mentor is someone who has already made the journey and has come back with a detailed map. They can tell you where the hidden traps are, where to find fresh water, and the most direct route to the destination. They don’t walk the path for you, but they give you the map.
Stop making excuses for why you can’t. Do start asking “how can I?” instead.
It’s the Difference Between a Locked Door and a Puzzle.
The statement “I can’t” is a locked door. It is a final, definitive dead end that shuts down all creativity and problem-solving in your brain. The moment you say it, the conversation is over. The question “How can I?” is a fascinating puzzle. It is a key that unlocks your brain’s creative potential. It assumes a solution exists and sends your mind on a mission to find it. This single linguistic shift changes your entire orientation from a passive victim to an active, resourceful problem-solver.
Stop just thinking about the results you want. Do focus on becoming the type of person who gets those results.
You’re Building a Magnet, Not Chasing a Piece of Metal.
Focusing on the result—the six-pack, the million dollars—is like chasing a piece of metal around a room. It’s a frustrating pursuit. The better approach is to focus on your identity and your habits, which is like turning yourself into a powerful magnet. Stop chasing the money and instead become the type of disciplined, value-driven person who naturally attracts money. Stop chasing the perfect body and become the type of person who never misses a workout. When you become the magnet, the metal you were chasing comes to you.
The #1 secret for a positive outlook on life is to drastically limit your consumption of mainstream news.
You’re Changing Your Mental Diet.
Imagine for years you have only eaten a diet of greasy, processed, sugary junk food. You would inevitably feel sluggish, sick, and depressed. The mainstream news cycle is the junk food diet for your mind. It is a constant stream of the most negative, fear-inducing, and enraging events happening on the entire planet, fed to you 24/7. Drastically limiting your consumption is like putting your mind on a clean, whole-foods diet. You stop feeding it poison, and it will naturally return to a healthier, more positive state.
I’m just going to say it: Your ego is the single biggest obstacle standing between you and your goals.
Your Ego is a Drunk Backseat Driver.
Your ego is the loud, insecure, drunk friend in the backseat of your car while you are trying to drive. It is constantly giving you terrible advice based on fear and a need for validation. It tells you not to try that new thing because you might look stupid. It tells you not to apologize because it will make you look weak. It tells you that you already know everything and don’t need to learn. To reach your destination, you have to learn to ignore the loud, drunken shouting from the backseat and keep your own hands firmly on the wheel.
The reason you’re not making progress is because you’re not tracking it; what gets measured gets managed.
You Can’t Improve Your Aim if You Don’t Know Where the Bullet Went.
Imagine you are trying to become a master archer, but you are shooting at a target in a pitch-black room. You can shoot arrows all day long, but you have absolutely no idea if you are hitting the bullseye or the wall. You cannot possibly make adjustments and improve. Tracking your progress—your workouts, your spending, your time—is the act of turning on the lights. It allows you to see exactly where your arrows are landing, which is the essential feedback you need to adjust your aim and start hitting the target.
If you’re still surrounding yourself with negative, unmotivated people, their mindset will inevitably infect you.
You’re a Healthy Plant in a Garden of Weeds.
You can be the healthiest, strongest, most vibrant plant with the deepest roots. But if you are planted in a garden that is completely overgrown with negative, cynical, life-draining weeds, your fate is sealed. The weeds will inevitably block your sunlight, steal your water, and choke your growth. You cannot change the entire garden by yourself. Your only winning move is to uproot yourself and replant yourself in a healthy, supportive garden, surrounded by other plants that are also growing towards the sun.
The biggest lie you’ve been told about self-love is that it’s about bubble baths; it’s about setting boundaries and holding yourself accountable.
It’s a Tough Personal Trainer, Not a Pampering Masseuse.
The popular version of self-love is a pampering masseuse. It’s all about comfort, indulgence, and avoiding anything difficult. But true, lasting self-love is a tough, disciplined personal trainer. It’s about showing up for yourself even when you don’t feel like it. It’s about holding yourself accountable to the promises you’ve made. It’s about having the courage to set boundaries and say “no.” The masseuse provides temporary pleasure, but the trainer builds permanent strength.
I wish I knew that I was inherently worthy of respect, regardless of my appearance or achievements.
Your Worth is the Gold, Not the Engraving on It.
Imagine a solid gold coin. Its inherent value comes from the fact that it is made of pure gold. Now, you could engrave it with a great achievement or a beautiful portrait, and that might make it look more impressive. But even if it were scratched, dented, or completely blank, its fundamental worth as a gold coin would not change. Your inherent worth as a human being is that solid gold. Your achievements and your appearance are just the engravings on the surface. They are not the source of your value.
99% of people who get into looksmaxxing are doing it from a place of self-hatred, which is an unsustainable foundation.
You Can’t Build a Skyscraper on a Toxic Waste Dump.
Looksmaxxing, the pursuit of improving one’s appearance, should be like building a beautiful skyscraper. But you cannot build a strong, lasting structure on a foundation of toxic waste. If your entire motivation is a deep, burning self-hatred, that is your foundation. No matter how beautiful the skyscraper you build on top of it is, the toxic foundation will inevitably rot, crack, and cause the entire structure to collapse into misery. True improvement must be built on a foundation of self-acceptance, not self-loathing.
This one habit of looking at yourself in the mirror and saying one positive thing will slowly rewire your self-perception.
You’re Planting a New Seed in a Weeded Garden.
Your mind is a garden that, for years, has been overgrown with the weeds of negative self-talk. The first step is to recognize those weeds. The next step is to plant a new, different kind of seed. Looking in the mirror and forcing yourself to find one genuine, positive thing to say—even if it feels fake at first—is the act of planting that new seed. Doing it every single day is like watering that seed. Slowly but surely, that small, positive flower will begin to grow, eventually becoming strong enough to crowd out the weeds around it.
Use self-compassion, not harsh self-criticism, to motivate yourself after a setback.
You’re a Good Coach, Not a Vicious Drill Sergeant.
Imagine a talented athlete who fumbles the ball. A vicious drill sergeant would scream in his face, insult him, and tell him he’s worthless. This would destroy his confidence and make him play worse. A good coach would pull him aside and say, “Hey, it happens. You’re a great player. Let’s analyze what went wrong and focus on the next play.” Harsh self-criticism is being your own drill sergeant. Self-compassion is being your own good coach. It acknowledges the mistake without judgment and focuses on learning and improvement.
Stop trying to be a perfect 10/10. Do focus on becoming the best possible version of yourself instead.
You’re an Artist Perfecting Your Own Unique Sculpture.
Trying to be a perfect 10/10 is like a sculptor trying to perfectly replicate a famous Greek statue. You will always be a flawed imitation, and you will live in a constant state of comparison and inadequacy. The better goal is to embrace the unique block of marble that is you—with all its unique veins and characteristics—and focus on becoming the absolute best possible sculptor of your own material. The goal is not to be a perfect copy of someone else, but to be a breathtakingly original masterpiece of yourself.
Stop just focusing on your physical appearance. Do cultivate character traits like integrity, kindness, and resilience.
You’re Building the Inside of the House, Not Just Painting the Outside.
Focusing only on your physical appearance is like spending all your time and money on the exterior paint and landscaping of a house, while the inside has a weak foundation, leaky plumbing, and faulty wiring. It might look impressive from the street, but it is an unpleasant and unstable place to actually live. Cultivating your character is the work of building the inside of the house. Integrity is the solid foundation, resilience is the strong frame, and kindness is the warm, welcoming fireplace.
The #1 hack for dealing with haters and critics is to realize their words are a reflection of them, not you.
They are a Projector, and You are the Blank Screen.
Imagine you are a clean, white movie screen. A hater is a person in the audience with a movie projector that is loaded with a film about their own insecurities, fears, and frustrations. When they aim that projector at you and start playing their movie, the images you see on the screen are not about you. They are a direct reflection of the film that is inside their projector. A wise person doesn’t argue with the images on the screen; they simply realize that it’s not their movie.
I’m just going to say it: True, lasting attractiveness radiates from your inner state of being.
You’re a Lightbulb, Not a Mannequin.
A mannequin can be physically perfect. It can have flawless features and wear the most expensive clothes. But it is a cold, dead, and unattractive object because there is no light coming from within. A truly attractive person is a lightbulb. Their physical form is just the glass shell, but their real power comes from the bright, warm, and vibrant light of their inner state—their confidence, their passion, their kindness—that radiates from the inside out and illuminates everyone around them. People are drawn to the light, not the glass.
The reason you’re insecure is because you’re comparing your unedited, behind-the-scenes footage to everyone else’s curated highlight reel.
You’re Confusing a Movie with a Documentary.
When you look at your own life, you see all the raw, unedited, behind-the-scenes footage. You see the mistakes, the awkward moments, the bad takes, and the scenes left on the cutting room floor. When you look at other people’s lives on social media, you are watching their perfectly edited, cinematic highlight reel. It has a dramatic soundtrack, the best camera angles, and all the mistakes have been edited out. Insecurity is the feeling that arises when you mistake their polished movie trailer for their real life.
If you’re still seeking a woman’s validation to feel good about yourself, you have already lost.
You’re a Defendant Letting the Prosecution be the Judge.
When you place your self-worth in the hands of another person, you are like a defendant in a courtroom who walks over to the prosecutor’s table and says, “Please, tell me, am I innocent?” You have handed all of your power to the one person whose validation should matter the least. You have already lost the case before it has even begun. A confident man is his own judge. He knows his own worth and his own verdict, and while he respects the opinions of others, he does not allow them to be the final arbiters of his value.
The biggest lie you’ve been told is that you need to look like a male model to be attractive; confidence and personality are far more powerful.
You’re a Campfire, Not a Photograph of a Fire.
A photograph of a perfect, roaring fire might be technically flawless and nice to look at. This is physical appearance. But it provides no warmth, no light, and no dynamic energy. It is a static, dead object. A real campfire, even if it’s not perfectly shaped, is infinitely more attractive because it radiates warmth, it crackles with energy, and it draws people in. Confidence, humor, and personality are that real, dynamic fire. People are not attracted to the picture; they are attracted to the warmth.
I wish I knew that my value as a human being has absolutely nothing to do with my jawline or hair.
You’re a Book, and Your Appearance is Just the Cover.
Your physical appearance is the cover of the book that is you. A beautiful, well-designed cover might make someone pick the book up off the shelf. But the cover has absolutely zero impact on the quality of the story written inside. Your character, your intelligence, your kindness, and your soul—that is the story. A book with a beautiful cover but a boring, empty story will be quickly put back down. A book with a plain cover but a magnificent, life-changing story will be treasured forever.
99% of people who are obsessed with looksmaxxing completely neglect working on their character and social skills.
You’re Polishing a Car with a Broken Engine.
Obsessively focusing on every minute detail of your physical appearance while neglecting your inner self is like spending thousands of hours and dollars meticulously polishing, waxing, and detailing the exterior of a car that has a broken, seized engine. It might look stunningly perfect sitting in the driveway, but the moment you try to actually use it for its intended purpose—to go somewhere and have an experience—it is completely useless. It is an empty, beautiful shell that has no power.
This one small change of focusing only on what is within your direct control will eliminate most of your anxiety.
You’re a Gardener Focusing on Your Own Garden.
Imagine a gardener who spends all day worrying about things they cannot control: the weather, the path of the sun, or the neighbor’s cat. They would be in a constant state of anxiety. A wise gardener focuses only on what is within their direct control: the quality of their soil, the seeds they plant, and the weeds they pull. By focusing their energy entirely within their own fence, they eliminate anxiety and create a beautiful garden, regardless of the storm clouds passing overhead. This is the core of Stoicism.
Use the principles of Stoicism, not just positive thinking, to build resilience against life’s challenges.
You’re a Shipbuilder, Not Just a Fair-Weather Sailor.
Positive thinking is like being a sailor who only knows how to sail on calm, sunny days. It’s pleasant, but it leaves you completely unprepared for a storm. Stoicism is the art of being a master shipbuilder. You don’t just hope for good weather; you spend your time building an incredibly resilient, waterproof, and robust ship. You intentionally practice for the worst-case scenarios, so that when the inevitable storms of life hit, you are not shocked or destroyed. You are ready.
Stop being your own worst critic. Do learn to become your own best coach instead.
One Tears You Down, The Other Builds You Up.
The inner critic is the drill sergeant who screams at you after you make a mistake, calling you worthless and telling you to quit. This shatters your confidence and guarantees future failures. The inner coach is the wise mentor who puts an arm around your shoulder after that same mistake and says, “Okay, that didn’t work. What did we learn from that? Let’s analyze the game tape and figure out a better strategy for the next play.” One is focused on punishment; the other is focused on improvement.
Stop just trying to improve your looks. Do strive to become a man of value to your community.
You’re a Lighthouse, Not a Disco Ball.
A disco ball is all about its surface. It’s covered in flashy mirrors, desperately trying to be the center of attention and reflect light onto itself. It is ultimately useless. A lighthouse, on the other hand, is not concerned with being flashy. Its purpose is not to be looked at, but to be a source of strength, stability, and light for others. It provides value and guidance to all the ships in the sea. The respect and admiration it receives is a byproduct of its utility, not its goal.
The #1 secret for a fulfilling life is to have a purpose that is bigger than yourself.
You’re a Single Instrument Joining an Orchestra.
Living a life focused only on your own happiness is like being a single violin, playing a beautiful but lonely tune in an empty room. It can be pleasant, but it lacks depth and power. Finding a purpose bigger than yourself—your family, your community, a cause you believe in—is like taking your violin and joining a massive, powerful orchestra. The music you create together is infinitely richer, more meaningful, and more resonant than any solo you could ever play. You are now part of something much larger and more significant.
I’m just going to say it: The obsessive pursuit of physical perfection is a hollow and never-ending goal that leads to misery.
You’re Chasing the Horizon.
The pursuit of physical perfection is like being in a boat and trying to sail to the horizon. No matter how fast you go or how hard you work, the horizon constantly moves away from you at the exact same speed. It is a destination that, by its very definition, can never be reached. This endless, unwinnable chase does not lead to fulfillment; it leads to a lifetime of exhaustion, frustration, and the feeling that you are never, ever good enough.
The reason you’re not confident is because your actions are out of alignment with your stated values.
You’re a Compass Whose Needle is Broken.
Your stated values—”I am an honest, disciplined person”—are your map’s True North. Your actions are the needle of your internal compass. When your actions are in alignment with your values (you act with honesty and discipline), your compass needle points true, and you feel a sense of confidence and integrity. But when your actions contradict your values (you lie or you are lazy), your compass needle spins wildly. This internal conflict is the feeling of low self-esteem. You are lost because your own compass is broken.
If you’re still letting your physical appearance define your entire identity, you are living a very limited existence.
You’re an Actor Who Only Ever Plays One Role.
Imagine a brilliant, versatile actor who has the potential to play a king, a scientist, a comedian, and a hero. But instead, he decides that his entire identity is “the guy with the nice hair,” and he refuses to ever take a role that doesn’t highlight it. He has voluntarily trapped himself in the most boring, one-dimensional character imaginable. When your entire identity is your appearance, you are that actor. You are ignoring the vast, complex, and interesting script of your own life to focus on a single, superficial costume.
The biggest lie you’ve been told is that happiness is a destination you arrive at; it’s the byproduct of a life well-lived.
Happiness is the Purr, Not the Cat.
People treat happiness like it’s a cat that you can go out and find and then own. They are constantly searching for this elusive “happiness cat.” But happiness is not the cat; it is the purr. It is a byproduct that naturally and effortlessly arises when you are doing all the things that make the cat healthy and content—when you are living a life of purpose, connection, and growth. Stop chasing the purr and start building a life that makes your soul purr.
I wish I knew that the purpose of life is not to be happy, but to be useful, honorable, and compassionate.
You’re a Tool Designed for a Specific Purpose.
A beautifully crafted hammer can sit on a shelf and be “happy” in the sense that it is not in pain. But its true purpose, the reason it was created, is to build things. It finds its true fulfillment not in a state of rest, but in the act of being useful—of driving nails and constructing a house. You are that hammer. You were not designed to simply pursue a state of passive happiness. Your deepest fulfillment will come from being a useful tool in the service of others, building a better world through your honorable and compassionate actions.
99% of people go through life in a state of quiet desperation, never questioning their own beliefs.
You’re a Fish Who Doesn’t Know It’s in Water.
A fish is born into water, lives its entire life in water, and has no concept that any other reality exists. The water is its entire belief system, so ingrained that it is invisible. Most people are this fish. They are swimming in a “water” of inherited beliefs, cultural narratives, and unquestioned assumptions about how the world works. They feel trapped and unhappy, but they never question the very medium they are living in. The first step to freedom is the shocking realization that you are a fish, and the water is a choice.
This one habit of practicing mindfulness and being fully present in the moment will increase your enjoyment of life tenfold.
You’re Finally Tasting Your Food Instead of Just Swallowing It.
Most people go through life like they are at a magnificent banquet, but they are so distracted by thoughts of past meals and future dinners that they are just mindlessly swallowing their food without ever tasting it. They get no enjoyment from the feast. Mindfulness is the simple act of paying attention to the bite of food that is currently in your mouth. It is choosing to be present and fully experience the flavor and texture of this one, single moment, rather than letting the banquet of your life pass by, untasted.
Use Tim Ferriss’s “fear-setting” exercise, not just avoiding what scares you, to systematically overcome your fears.
You’re Turning the Monster Under the Bed into a Pet.
The fear of the unknown is like a terrifying, shapeless monster lurking under your bed. Avoiding it only makes it grow bigger and scarier in your imagination. The “fear-setting” exercise is like dragging that monster out into the light and giving it a name. By defining your fear in excruciating detail—what is the absolute worst that could happen, and how could you recover from it?—you transform the vague, terrifying monster into a small, manageable problem. You’ve taken the unknown and made it known, turning the monster into a pet you can control.
Stop just dreaming about the life you want. Do start taking small, consistent daily actions to build it.
A Blueprint is Not a House.
A dream is a beautiful, detailed architectural blueprint for the life you want. You can spend years admiring it, making small tweaks, and showing it to your friends. But a blueprint will never keep the rain off your head. It is not a house. Small, consistent daily actions are the bricks. The only way to move out of the blueprint and into the actual house is to start the slow, boring, and methodical process of laying one single brick, every single day.
Stop being a passive consumer of content. Do start creating something of your own.
You’re a Spectator in the Arena of Life.
Being a passive consumer is like spending your entire life in the grandstands of a massive stadium. You watch other people play the game, you critique their performance, and you cheer for their victories. But you never feel the thrill of being on the field yourself. Creating something—writing an article, starting a project, building a business—is the act of leaving the stands, walking down onto the field, and putting on a jersey. It’s scary and you might fail, but it is the only way to truly be in the game.
The #1 hack for a productive day is to win the first hour of the morning with a powerful routine.
You’re Setting the Compass for the Rest of the Day.
The first hour of your day is the rudder of your ship. If, in that first hour, you allow the currents of distraction—your phone, email, the news—to push your rudder around, you will spend the rest of the day being pushed and pulled by the chaotic waves. But if you seize control of that rudder in the first hour with a powerful routine (exercise, meditation, goal review), you are setting a clear, intentional course. You have aimed your ship at a specific destination before the winds even have a chance to start blowing.
I’m just going to say it: You are capable of achieving far more than you currently believe.
You’re a Lion Who Thinks He’s a House Cat.
Imagine a powerful lion that was raised in a small house and told from birth that it was just a slightly oversized house cat. It would live its life in fear of the vacuum cleaner, spend its days napping in sunbeams, and never once realize the immense, thunderous roar it holds inside its own chest. Most of us are this lion. We are living a life that is far beneath our true potential because we have believed the small, limiting story that we and others have told about ourselves.
The reason you’re not reaching your goals is because you’re playing not to lose instead of playing to win.
It’s a Defensive Game vs. an Offensive Game.
Playing “not to lose” is a purely defensive strategy in football. You play cautiously, you don’t take any risks, and your entire goal is to just not get scored on. You will never win the game this way; the best you can hope for is a 0-0 tie. Playing “to win” is an offensive strategy. You are actively trying to score points. You take calculated risks, you run creative plays, and your goal is victory. Most people approach their goals with a defensive mindset, terrified of making a mistake, which guarantees they will never score.
If you’re still waiting for the “right moment” to start, you will be waiting for the rest of your life.
You’re Waiting for the Ocean to be Still.
Waiting for the “perfect moment” to start your business, ask someone out, or get in shape is like being a sailor who is waiting for the entire ocean to be perfectly calm and windless before he sets sail. It is a condition that will never, ever exist. The nature of the ocean is to have waves and currents. The nature of life is to have challenges and imperfections. A real sailor learns to sail in the conditions they are given, not the conditions they wish they had.
The biggest lie you’ve been told is that you need to have your entire life figured out; you just need to know the next step.
You’re Driving a Car at Night.
When you’re driving a car on a dark, unfamiliar road at night, your headlights only illuminate the next 200 feet in front of you. You don’t need to be able to see your final destination, which is hundreds of miles away. You only need to be able to see the next 200 feet of road. Life is that night drive. If you just focus on navigating the small patch of road your headlights are illuminating, and you keep doing that consistently, you will eventually and inevitably arrive at your destination.
I wish I knew that asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness.
A CEO Asks for Advice from Her Board of Directors.
A weak, insecure leader believes they must have all the answers. They are terrified that asking for help will expose them as a fraud. A strong, confident CEO knows that they don’t have all the answers, so they surround themselves with a board of smart, experienced directors. They actively seek out advice and perspective, knowing that this collaboration is the fastest path to the best decision. Asking for help is not an admission of failure; it is the ultimate power move of a leader who is focused on the mission, not their ego.
99% of people are too afraid to be truly vulnerable, which is why they have superficial relationships.
You’re a Knight Who Never Takes Off His Armor.
Imagine a knight who lives his entire life, 24/7, inside a heavy, restrictive suit of armor. He is protected, but he can never truly feel the warmth of the sun or the touch of another person. He can only have clunky, metallic interactions. Most people live inside a suit of emotional armor, terrified to show their true, soft selves. Vulnerability is the brave act of taking off the helmet. It’s risky, but it is the only way to ever feel the warmth of a genuine, deep human connection.
This one small change of embracing your flaws and imperfections will make you more relatable and human.
The Cracks are Where the Light Gets In.
A perfect, mass-produced ceramic bowl is cold, sterile, and has no character. But a piece of handmade pottery is valued for its small imperfections—the fingerprints of the artist, the slight asymmetry. In the Japanese art of Kintsugi, broken pottery is repaired with gold, making the cracks the most beautiful part of the object. Your flaws and imperfections are those cracks. They are not something to be hidden; they are the very things that break the illusion of perfection and allow the golden light of your humanity to shine through.
Use a professional therapist, not just venting to your friends, to work through your deep-seated mental and emotional issues.
You Need a Surgeon, Not Just a Sympathetic Friend.
When you vent to a friend, it’s like telling them you have a sharp pain in your side. They can offer you sympathy, a cup of tea, and their best guess as to what’s wrong. But they cannot fix the underlying problem. A therapist is a trained surgeon. They can listen to your symptoms, but they also have the diagnostic tools and the surgical skills to go inside, find the root cause of the pain—the inflamed appendix, the deep-seated trauma—and carefully, skillfully remove it so you can actually heal.
Stop just trying to change your external circumstances. Do change your internal state first, and the external will follow.
You’re Trying to Change the Reflection in the Mirror.
Trying to change your life by manipulating your external circumstances is like being unhappy with the sad, frowning reflection you see in the mirror and trying to fix it by reaching out and physically moving the reflection’s mouth into a smile. It’s an impossible, frustrating fight. The only way to change the reflection is to change the source. When you do the internal work to genuinely smile, the reflection will change instantly, effortlessly, and perfectly.
Stop just focusing on the a negative aspects of a situation. Do train your brain to actively look for the opportunity or lesson.
It’s a Problem or It’s a Puzzle.
When faced with a setback, most people’s brains see a “problem.” This word triggers feelings of stress, frustration, and victimhood. It’s a dead end. A simple but powerful mindset shift is to train your brain to see a “puzzle” instead. A puzzle is an engaging challenge. It assumes there is a solution, and it triggers feelings of creativity, curiosity, and resourcefulness. The situation is the same, but changing that one word transforms you from a passive victim into an active problem-solver.
The #1 secret to resilience is having a strong “why” that can withstand any “how.”
Your “Why” is the Root of Your Tree.
A tree with shallow, weak roots might look tall and strong on a calm day. But the moment a powerful storm hits, it will be blown over. A tree with a deep, massive, and powerful root system can withstand almost any hurricane. The challenges and hardships of life are that storm. Your “how”—the specific actions you are taking—is the trunk and branches. But your “why”—your deep, emotional purpose—is the root system. A person with a powerful enough “why” can endure almost any “how.”
I’m just going to say it: Your mindset is the ultimate filter through which you experience all of reality.
You’re the Film Director of Your Own Life.
Two film directors can be given the exact same raw footage of an event. One director, with a tragic and cynical mindset, can edit that footage into a dark, depressing, and hopeless film. The other director, with an optimistic and heroic mindset, can edit the very same footage into an inspiring story of triumph over adversity. The events (the footage) are the same. Your mindset is the director. It is the lens, the soundtrack, and the editing choices that create the final movie you experience as your reality.
The reason you’re not successful is because you’re not willing to endure the boredom of consistency.
Success is a Marathon, Not a Sprint.
Everyone gets excited about the sprint. It’s a short, thrilling burst of intense effort with an immediate finish line. But real, lasting success is not a sprint; it’s a marathon. And a marathon is, for the most part, incredibly boring. It is thousands of the same, repetitive, unexciting steps, taken one after the other, for hours on end. People quit not because it’s too hard, but because it’s too monotonous. The superpower of the successful is their ability to fall in love with the boredom of showing up every single day.
If you’re still not investing time and money in your own education and self-development, you’re making a terrible investment.
You’re a Carpenter Who Refuses to Sharpen His Saw.
Imagine a carpenter who is trying to build a house with a dull, rusty saw. His work is slow, sloppy, and exhausting. You tell him, “Hey, why don’t you take ten minutes to sharpen your saw?” He replies, “I can’t! I’m too busy cutting wood!” This is the insanity of not investing in yourself. You are the carpenter, and your skills and your mind are your saw. Taking the time to read a book, take a course, or learn a new skill is the act of sharpening your saw, which will make all of your future work infinitely faster, easier, and better.
The biggest lie you’ve been told is that significant change has to be hard and painful.
You’re Turning a Giant Ship, Not a Speedboat.
If you try to turn a massive cargo ship on a dime like a tiny speedboat, you will tear the ship apart. The change is violent and destructive. But a skilled captain knows that by applying a tiny, almost imperceptible pressure to the rudder, consistently over a long period of time, that massive ship will eventually make a huge, 180-degree turn. Significant change doesn’t have to be a painful, violent event. It can be the result of a small, easy, and consistent pressure applied over time.
I wish I knew that I have the absolute power to choose my response to any event, no matter how difficult.
Between the Match and the Gunpowder is a Space.
An external event is like a lit match. Your emotional reaction is like a keg of gunpowder. For most people, the match touches the gunpowder and there is an instant, automatic explosion. They believe this is inevitable. But the great secret of life is that between the match and the gunpowder, there is a small, sacred space. In that space lies your freedom. You can choose to see the match, feel its heat, and then consciously decide not to touch it to the gunpowder. This space is where your power lives.
99% of people let their fleeting emotions dictate their long-term actions.
You’re Letting a Child Captain a Battleship.
Your long-term goals and your values are a massive, powerful battleship on a critical mission. Your fleeting emotions are a hyperactive, impulsive, and irrational five-year-old child. Most people, the moment they feel a strong emotion—fear, anger, boredom—hand the steering wheel of their battleship over to that child. The child will inevitably steer the ship towards an island made of candy or crash it into the rocks. A disciplined person lets the child have their tantrum, but they keep their own adult hands firmly on the wheel.
This one habit of taking a 5-minute cold shower every morning will teach you to control your mind over your body.
You’re the Rider, and Your Body is the Horse.
Your mind is the rider, and your body is the powerful, instinct-driven horse. The horse is always seeking comfort and warmth. When you are about to step into a cold shower, the horse rears up and screams, “NO! This is uncomfortable! Let’s go back to the warm stable!” By calmly stepping into the water anyway, you are telling the horse, “I hear you, but I am the one in charge.” It is a simple, daily act of asserting your dominance as the rider, which trains you to control the horse in much more difficult situations.
Use a holistic approach to self-improvement, recognizing that your mind, body, and spirit are all interconnected.
You’re a Gardener Tending to the Soil, the Roots, and the Leaves.
A foolish gardener might only focus on the leaves of a sick plant, spraying them with water and ignoring the bigger picture. A wise gardener understands that the plant is a single, interconnected system. They know that the health of the leaves is dependent on the strength of the roots, and the strength of the roots is dependent on the quality of the soil. You are that plant. Your mind (the leaves), your body (the roots), and your spirit (the soil) are not separate. You must tend to the entire garden to truly thrive.