I Lost My Best Friend of 30 Years During My Midlife Crisis. Here’s Why.
The Person I Became Was a Stranger to Her
My mom and her best friend, Carol, were inseparable for 30 years. When my mom went through her “awakening” at 48—quitting her corporate job to teach art—Carol couldn’t handle it. She loved the “old mom”: the one who complained about her boss and went on predictable shopping trips. My new, happier, more adventurous mom was a stranger to her. The friendship died a slow, painful death because it was built around a version of my mom that no longer existed. It taught me that sometimes, personal growth has casualties, and you have to be willing to let people go.
How to Make New Friends After 40 (When It Feels Impossible).
I Had to Schedule Friendship Like a Dentist Appointment
After my uncle’s divorce, his social life vanished. At 45, he realized he had no real friends of his own. It felt impossible to start over. So he treated it like a project. He joined a running club, even though he hated running at first. He forced himself to go every Saturday for three months. It was awkward. But eventually, the pre-run small talk turned into post-run coffee. A year later, his closest friends are the guys from that club. He learned that after 40, friendship doesn’t just happen; it requires intentional, consistent effort.
The “Friendship Audit”: The Painful But Necessary Midlife Cull.
My Life’s KonMari for People
My aunt confessed that at 46, she was exhausted by her social life. It was full of obligations and draining people. She did a “friendship audit.” She listed everyone she spent time with and asked one question: “Do I feel better or worse after seeing this person?” The results were brutal. She realized some long-term friendships were based only on habit and gossip. She didn’t have dramatic breakups; she just stopped putting in the effort with the “draining” column. Her circle is smaller now, but her energy and happiness have skyrocketed.
My “Couple Friends” All Sided With My Ex. How I Rebuilt My Social Life.
When “Our” Friends Become “His” Friends
When my mentor divorced, the social devastation was almost worse than the emotional part. All their “couple friends,” the ones they’d vacationed with for years, sided with her ex. Her phone just stopped ringing. She was 49 and had to rebuild an entire social life from scratch. It was humbling. She started with a book club, then a volunteer gig. It was a slow, awkward process, but the friends she made were hers alone. She learned that a shared social circle is a fragile thing, and you always need your own support system.
The Loneliness of Being the Only Single Person in Your Friend Group.
My Life Was an Anecdote at Their Dinner Parties
My older cousin is 35 and the last single person in her college friend group. She told me the loneliness is intense. While her friends discuss mortgages and preschool applications, she feels like her dating stories are treated as quirky entertainment. They forget to include her in couple-focused plans, not out of malice, but because her life stage is just not on their radar anymore. It’s a quiet, drifting-apart feeling that has taught her the importance of seeking out friends who share her current reality.
How to Support a Friend Going Through a Midlife Crisis (Without Losing Them).
I Supported the Person, Not the Ridiculous Purchase
My friend’s dad, a quiet accountant, suddenly bought a bright yellow sports car. Everyone in the family was mocking him. His best friend, however, took a different approach. He took him for a drive and instead of making fun of the car, he just asked, “You seem to be searching for something. What’s this really about for you?” That question opened a conversation about my friend’s dad’s feelings of invisibility and boredom. By supporting the person instead of judging the cliché, he helped his friend navigate the crisis instead of just enabling it.
The “Energy Vampire” Friend I Finally Had to Cut Off.
I Hung Up the Phone and My Mood Soared
I had a friend who was an “energy vampire.” Our calls had a script: she would complain for 45 minutes, ignore any question about my life, and then abruptly hang up. I would feel physically drained and gloomy after every interaction. For a year, I felt too guilty to end it. Finally, I just stopped answering her calls. The immediate wave of relief was so profound it felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. It taught me that protecting my own peace is not selfish; it’s a necessity.
The Awkwardness of Friendships When Your Incomes Drastically Change.
The $20 Taco Place vs. The $200 Steakhouse
My two best friends and I started our careers at the same level. Then, one got a massive promotion in finance. Suddenly, our easy friendship became awkward. When we planned a dinner, he’d suggest a $200 steakhouse, while my other friend and I were thinking of the $20 taco place. He wasn’t being a jerk, but our financial realities had diverged. We had to have a direct, uncomfortable conversation about it to save the friendship. We learned that transparency is key when the numbers on your paychecks are no longer in the same ballpark.
I Reconnected With an Old Friend. It Was Both Comforting and Depressing.
We Had a Great Past, But No Future
I met up with my best friend from high school after 15 years. The first hour was amazing, full of “remember when” and easy laughter. The nostalgia was warm and comforting. But then, the conversation turned to our present lives. We had nothing in common. Our values, politics, and lifestyles were from different planets. We were two strangers who just happened to share a past. It was a sad but important realization: sometimes, the greatest thing old friends have in common is the fact that they were once friends.
The Unspoken Rules of Male Friendship (And Why They’re So Hard).
My Dad Can Rebuild an Engine With a Friend, But Can’t Ask “How Are You?”
My dad has had the same best friend, Mike, for 40 years. They’ve built decks, fixed cars, and coached baseball together. They can spend eight hours in comfortable silence working on a project. But when Mike’s wife was sick, my dad didn’t know how to talk to him about it. Their friendship was built on doing things together, not on emotional vulnerability. It showed me how many male friendships rely on a shared activity as a pretext for connection, making it incredibly difficult to show up for each other when life gets real.
My “Work Friends” Weren’t My Real Friends. A Hard Lesson.
The Day I Got Laid Off, My Phone Went Silent
At my last job, I thought I had a great group of friends. We ate lunch together every day, went for happy hours, and gossiped constantly. I spent more time with them than with my actual family. Then, I got laid off. And the texts, calls, and invites stopped almost immediately. I realized they weren’t my friends; we were just friendly colleagues bonded by a shared environment. It was a harsh but valuable lesson: don’t mistake proximity for intimacy. True friendship exists outside the walls of the office.
How to Deepen Your Casual Friendships Into Something More.
The Terrifying Leap from “What’s Up?” to “I’m Not Okay.”
I had a lot of casual “beer friends,” but no one I could call in a real crisis. I decided to try to deepen a friendship with one of them. The next time we hung out, instead of just talking about sports or work, I took a risk. I shared something I was genuinely struggling with. The silence after I spoke was terrifying. But then, he shared something he was struggling with, too. That moment of shared, scary vulnerability was the bridge we crossed from being casual buddies to becoming true friends.
The “Friend-Date”: How to Intentionally Nurture Your Platonic Relationships.
If It’s Not on the Calendar, It’s Not Real
My best friend and I found ourselves drifting apart due to busy schedules. We were relying on random texts to sustain a 15-year friendship. So we stole a concept from dating: we started scheduling a non-negotiable “friend-date” once a month. It goes on the calendar just like a doctor’s appointment. It’s our protected time to truly catch up, without distractions. This intentionality saved our friendship. It’s a reminder that the relationships that matter most deserve the same conscious effort we put into our romantic partnerships.
When Your Friends Are in a Different Life Stage Than You.
I Was Drowning in a Sea of Baby Talk
At 32, I’m the only one in my friend group who is single and child-free. I went to a brunch with them, and for two straight hours, the only topics were sleep training, daycare costs, and diaper brands. I love them and their kids, but I felt completely invisible and alienated. My life—my career, my travels, my dating life—felt trivial in comparison. It’s a lonely place to be, and it’s taught me the importance of actively seeking out friends who are navigating the same life stage as me.
The Pain of a “Friendship Breakup.”
The Ghosting That Hurts the Most
My friend Sarah and I were inseparable for years. Then, it just… stopped. There was no big fight, no dramatic event. She just slowly faded away. My texts went from getting slow replies to no replies. Unlike a romantic breakup, there was no closure or conversation. It was a silent, ambiguous ghosting that left me confused and heartbroken. I learned that the slow, unexplained death of a close friendship can be just as painful, if not more so, than a romantic split because there’s no cultural script for how to mourn it.
How a Shared Hobby Created My “Second Family.”
Our Common Ground Was a Foldable Gaming Table
After moving for work, I felt really isolated. On a whim, I joined a weekly board game meetup at a local shop. I was nervous at first, but our shared love for complex, strategic games became an instant bond. We weren’t just playing games; we were solving puzzles and celebrating victories together. That group of nerdy, wonderful strangers has become my chosen “second family.” Our shared passion was the foundation, but the friendship we built on top of it is what truly matters.
The 5 Types of Friends You Need in Midlife.
Building Your Personal Board of Directors
My therapist told me to think of my friends as a personal board of directors. You need: 1) The Cheerleader, who believes in you no matter what. 2) The Truth-Teller, who will tell you when you have spinach in your teeth. 3) The Mentor, who has been there before and can offer wisdom. 4) The Fun One, who reminds you how to play. 5) The Rock, the steady, reliable friend you can call at 3 AM. I realized I had a lot of fun friends, but I needed to cultivate the others.
I’m Jealous of My Friend’s Success. How I’m Dealing With It.
My Envy Was a Signpost to My Own Desires
When my friend announced she got a major book deal, my first feeling wasn’t happiness for her; it was a hot, ugly flash of jealousy. I was ashamed of it. But then I realized my envy was a signpost. It wasn’t that I didn’t want her to succeed; it was that her success was highlighting an area of my own life where I felt stuck and unfulfilled. I was envious of her courage to pursue a creative dream. So I used that feeling as motivation to finally sign up for the writing class I’d been putting off.
The “Low-Maintenance” Friendship Myth.
Even a Cactus Needs Water
My college roommate and I always called our friendship “low-maintenance.” We could go months without talking and pick right back up. But after a few years of this, we had nothing left to pick up. We had no idea what was happening in each other’s lives because neither of us was putting in any effort. We had mistaken neglect for a low-maintenance relationship. Friendships are living things. Even the most resilient ones, like a cactus, need to be watered occasionally. They don’t survive on neglect.
How to Set Boundaries With a Friend Who Drains You.
“I Can’t, But I Wish You Well.”
My friend used me as her free, on-call therapist. I felt trapped by her constant, draining calls. I learned to set boundaries from a mentor. Instead of just ghosting her, I started using kind but firm scripts. “I only have about 15 minutes to talk right now,” or, “I don’t have the emotional bandwidth to talk about that today, but I’m sending you my best.” It felt incredibly awkward at first, but it was empowering. It taught me I can be a good, caring friend without setting myself on fire to keep someone else warm.
The Surprising Joy of Having Friends of All Ages.
My Mentors Are 70, My Mentees Are 25
My social circle used to be a monoculture—everyone was within five years of my age. In my thirties, I made a conscious effort to change that. I now have a friend who is 70 and gives me the most incredible, long-term perspective on my career problems. I also have friends in their early twenties who keep me connected to new ideas and music. This age diversity has enriched my life immensely. It’s like having a team of advisors from the past, present, and future, all at the same time.
The Vulnerability It Takes to Say, “I’m Lonely.”
Three Words That Changed My Friendships
I was surrounded by people but felt deeply lonely. I was terrified to admit it, thinking it sounded pathetic. Finally, during a catch-up with a friend, I took a deep breath and just said it: “Honestly, I’ve been feeling really lonely lately.” The look of relief on her face was shocking. “Oh my god, me too,” she said. That one act of vulnerability opened a floodgate of honest conversation. It turned our superficial catch-up into a deep, meaningful connection. Those three scary words were the key to unlocking the intimacy I was craving.
How to Host a “Low-Stakes” Gathering to Build Community.
The “Come-as-You-Are” Pizza Night
I wanted to build a stronger sense of community but was paralyzed by the thought of hosting a “perfect” dinner party. A friend gave me the idea for a “low-stakes” gathering. The invitation text read: “Low-Stakes Pizza Night at my place, 7 PM Saturday. I’ll order the pizza, you bring whatever you want to drink. Come as you are, sweats are encouraged.” It took all the pressure off. People came, they relaxed, and we had a great time. The goal was connection, not performance, and it was the best party I’ve ever thrown.
The Difference Between “Old Friends” and “True Friends.”
Longevity Isn’t a Qualification
I have a friend I’ve known since kindergarten. He’s my “oldest” friend. But when I went through a rough patch, he was nowhere to be found. Meanwhile, a friend I had only known for two years was the one who checked in on me every day. That’s when I learned the difference between an old friend and a true friend. Shared history is a beautiful thing, but it doesn’t automatically qualify someone for a place in your inner circle. True friendship is measured by current connection and support, not by the number of years on the clock.
My Friend’s Midlife Crisis Is Annoying as Hell. A Confession.
I Want to Support Him, But I Also Want Him to Shut Up About His Podcast
My best friend is deep in a midlife crisis. He quit his job, started wearing leather jackets, and will not stop talking about the “personal branding” podcast he’s launching. I love him, but it is annoying as hell. I find myself rolling my eyes and resisting the urge to tell him he sounds ridiculous. It’s a weird conflict: I want to be a supportive friend during his difficult time, but I also desperately miss my old, less-annoying friend. It’s a confession most of us have, but never say out loud.
How to Navigate Political Differences With Friends in a Polarized World.
We Chose Our Friendship Over Our Opinions
My friend and I are on complete opposite ends of the political spectrum. Our conversations were getting increasingly heated and were threatening to destroy a 20-year friendship. Finally, we made a pact. We established conversational “no-fly zones.” We can talk about our families, our work, our hobbies—anything but politics. It feels a bit like a truce in a war, but it was a conscious choice. We decided that our long history of friendship was more important than winning an argument that neither of us was ever going to win.
The “Third Place”: Why You Need a Spot That’s Not Home or Work.
The Coffee Shop Where They Know My Name
Sociologists call it a “third place.” It’s not the pressure of home (first place) or the stress of work (second place). For me, it’s the slightly grimy coffee shop down the street. I go there a few times a week. The barista knows my order. I see the same familiar faces of other regulars. We don’t necessarily have deep conversations, but there’s a comforting sense of low-stakes community. Having that neutral, public space where I can just exist has become essential for my mental health.
I Started a “Men’s Group.” It’s Not What You Think.
It’s Just Pizza, Beer, and Radical Honesty
When I told my wife I was starting a “men’s group,” she pictured us drumming in the woods. The reality is much more boring and much more profound. Once a month, five of us get together in a garage. We eat pizza, and for the first hour, we just talk about sports and movies. Then, for the second hour, one of us takes the floor and talks about what’s really going on in his life—a struggle at work, a problem with his kids, a fear about getting older. It’s the only place many of us feel safe enough to be truly honest.
How My Friendships Changed After I Got Sober.
Some Friendships Dissolved, Others Solidified
When I quit drinking, I had to do a painful inventory of my friendships. I quickly realized some of my “friends” were actually just “drinking buddies.” Our entire relationship was based on going to bars. When I couldn’t do that anymore, the friendship dissolved. It was sad. But other friendships became deeper and more authentic. The conversations were real, not beer-fueled. Getting sober was a powerful filter that showed me which of my relationships were based on true connection and which were just based on convenience.
The Tell-Tale Signs a Friendship Has Run Its Course.
When Their Name on Your Phone Elicits a Sigh, Not a Smile
How do you know when a friendship is over? It’s not always a big fight. It’s the little things. It’s when you see their name pop up on your phone and your first feeling is a sigh of dread, not a smile. It’s when you realize you are exhausted, not energized, after you see them. It’s when you find yourself editing your stories and hiding your true self around them. When the effort of maintaining the friendship consistently outweighs the joy you get from it, that’s a sign it has likely run its course.
How to Be a Good Friend to Someone Who Is Grieving.
Don’t Ask, Just Do.
When my coworker’s mother passed away, everyone said the same thing: “Let me know if you need anything.” It’s a kind offer, but it puts the burden on the grieving person to ask for help. A senior manager did something different. He didn’t ask. He just emailed our team and organized a meal train, assigning everyone a day to drop off dinner. He took the initiative. It taught me the most powerful way to support a grieving friend is to just do the thing—mow their lawn, walk their dog, bring them coffee.
The Social Exhaustion of Midlife (And How to Combat It).
My “Social Battery” Drains Faster Than My Phone’s
Between my demanding job and my kids’ schedules, by the time Friday night rolls around, my social battery is at zero. The thought of going out, making small talk, and being “on” feels less like fun and more like another job. The solution for me hasn’t been to become a hermit. It’s been to swap large group outings for smaller, more meaningful interactions. Instead of a loud party, I’ll opt for a quiet one-on-one walk with a close friend. It recharges my battery instead of draining it completely.
I Used the “Bumble BFF” App at 48. A Review.
It’s Just as Awkward as Regular Dating, But Worth It
After moving to a new state at 48, I was lonely. In a moment of desperation, I downloaded Bumble BFF. It felt incredibly weird “swiping” on women and writing a profile to attract platonic friends. The first few “friend dates” were as awkward as any bad romantic date. There was stilted conversation and a lack of chemistry. But I stuck with it, and on my fourth try, I met a woman who is now one of my dearest friends. It’s a strange, modern tool, but if you can get past the awkwardness, it can actually work.
The Power of a “Friendship Check-In.”
“How Are We Doing?” Is a Powerful Question
My best friend and I live in different states. We realized we were becoming strangers who just exchanged memes. So we instituted a quarterly “Friendship Check-In.” We get on a video call and ask each other questions like, “How are we doing as friends?” “Is there anything you need from me that you’re not getting?” and “How can I better support you?” It feels a bit formal, but these intentional conversations have kept our long-distance friendship intimate and strong. It’s preventative maintenance for our most important relationships.
How My Dog Helped Me Make More Friends Than I Ever Did on My Own.
My Dog Is My Social Ambassador
I’m a natural introvert and find it hard to start conversations with strangers. Then I got a dog. The local dog park has become the most effortless social hub I’ve ever experienced. You have an immediate, obvious thing in common with everyone there. Conversations start easily: “What kind of dog is that?” or “Mine does that same goofy thing!” My goofy, lovable golden retriever has been a better social lubricant than any party or networking event. He’s my furry little ambassador to the community.
The Guilt of Being a “Bad Friend” When You’re Overwhelmed.
I Don’t Have the Bandwidth, and I Feel Terrible About It
Lately, I feel like I’m failing at friendship. I forget to reply to texts. I miss birthdays. I’m so overwhelmed with work and young kids that I have zero extra bandwidth. The guilt is immense. I know I’m being a “bad friend.” I recently sent a group text to my closest friends that said, “Hey, I’m drowning right now and I’m sorry if I’m MIA. I love you all and I’ll be back when I can breathe again.” The wave of understanding and support I got back was a huge relief.
How to “Break Up” With a Friend Gracefully.
The Slow Fade Is Kinder Than Ghosting
I had a friendship that had become toxic. A dramatic confrontation wasn’t my style, but ghosting felt cruel. I chose the “slow fade.” I started taking longer to reply to texts. I became politely unavailable for get-togethers, using vague excuses. I slowly and gently reduced the intensity and frequency of our interactions over several months. It allowed the friendship to die a natural, quiet death without the drama and hurt feelings of a sudden amputation. It’s not perfect, but it’s often the kindest way to end things.
The Friends Who “Get It” and the Ones Who Never Will.
The Relief of Not Having to Explain
After I was laid off, I had two very different conversations. One friend tried to “fix” it with unsolicited resume advice and toxic positivity. I left the conversation feeling exhausted. Another friend just said, “That sounds incredibly hard. I’m so sorry.” That was it. She just sat with me in my sadness. The relief of being with someone who “gets it”—who knows that sometimes you need presence, not solutions—is one of the greatest comforts in life. You learn to lean on the friends who know how to listen.
The Unexpected Places I’ve Met New Friends (Hint: Not at a Bar).
My Social Life Thrives During Daylight Hours
In my twenties, my social life revolved around bars. Now, in my mid-thirties, I’ve met my closest new friends in the most unexpected places. I met a friend while waiting in line at the DMV, where we bonded over our mutual frustration. I met another while volunteering at a community garden. I even became close with a neighbor after we both started our lawnmowers at the same time every Saturday. My best connections now are made in the wild, during the mundane activities of daily life.
The Joy of a Friendship That Requires No “Mask.”
With Her, I Can Be My Full, Weird Self
I have many friends with whom I am a polite, edited version of myself. But then there is Sarah. With Sarah, I can be my full, unedited, weird self. I can show up at her house in my pajamas, cry about something stupid, or share a half-baked, ridiculous idea without fear of judgment. There is no social performance, no mask required. That friendship is a sanctuary. It’s the place I go to remember who I am when I’m not trying to be anyone else.
How to Handle a Friend Who Constantly Complains.
The “Vent-and-Redirect” Technique
My coworker is a chronic complainer. I used to let her vent for an hour, which would ruin my mood. Now, I use the “vent-and-redirect” technique. I listen actively for five minutes and validate her feelings by saying something like, “Wow, that sounds really frustrating.” Then, I gently pivot the conversation by asking, “So, on a completely different note, did you see that new movie that just came out?” It honors her need to be heard but protects my own energy by putting a firm time limit on the complaining.
The “Reciprocity” Test in Friendships.
I Was the Only One Paddling the Canoe
I felt like a friendship was becoming one-sided. I decided to conduct a silent “reciprocity test.” I stopped being the one to initiate contact. I didn’t text first, I didn’t suggest plans. I just waited. The resulting silence was deafening and sad, but also incredibly clarifying. I realized I was the only one paddling our friendship canoe. The test showed me it wasn’t a real partnership. It hurt, but it freed up my energy to invest in the friends who were paddling with me.
My Friendships Became Deeper After I Started Therapy. Here’s Why.
I Stopped Using My Friends as Unpaid Therapists
Before I started therapy, I used my friends to process all my anxiety and drama. It put a huge burden on them. Once I had a dedicated, professional space to work through my issues, my friendships transformed. I could show up to a hangout and be genuinely curious about their lives, instead of just waiting for my turn to vent. Therapy didn’t just help me; it helped me become a much better, more present, and less draining friend to the people I care about most.
The Loneliness of a “Trailing Spouse” in Midlife.
I Moved for His Dream, But Lost My World
When my husband got his dream job offer across the country, I agreed to move. I was 42. I left behind my career, my support system, and my entire sense of identity. The loneliness was unlike anything I had ever experienced. I was the “trailing spouse,” a tag-along to his exciting new life. I had to humbly start from scratch, introducing myself at neighborhood meetups and trying to find work in a new city. It was a profound lesson in how much of our identity is tied to our community.
How to Rebuild a Friendship After a Big Fight.
The Humble Pie Tastes Awful, But It Works
My best friend and I had a huge, awful fight. We said things we couldn’t take back. For a month, we didn’t speak. The silence was miserable. Finally, I swallowed my pride and texted him: “I miss my friend. Can we talk?” The conversation was awkward and humbling. We both had to apologize. We had to eat a huge slice of humble pie. But that painful process of rebuilding was worth it. Our friendship is stronger now because we proved it could survive a major rupture.
The Friend Who Saw Me Through My Darkest Days.
She Was My Human Lantern
When I was going through a brutal divorce, most people disappeared. They didn’t know what to say. But my friend Maria didn’t go anywhere. She didn’t offer platitudes or advice. She just showed up. She would drop off coffee without knocking. She would text me, “Just checking in,” with no expectation of a reply. She was my human lantern, a small, steady light that reminded me I wasn’t completely alone in the darkness. That kind of friendship is the rarest and most valuable treasure you can ever find.
The “Friendship Tiers”: Acquaintances, Friends, and Inner Circle.
You Can’t Give “Inner Circle” Energy to an Acquaintance
I used to burn out by treating every friend the same. A mentor taught me to think in “tiers.” Tier 3 are acquaintances and “fun” friends. Tier 2 are true friends you invest in. Tier 1 is your “inner circle”—the 2-3 people you would call from jail. This isn’t about being calculating; it’s about managing your social energy. You can’t give your limited “inner circle” time and vulnerability to everyone. Understanding these tiers helped me allocate my energy wisely and stop feeling guilty for not being everything to everyone.
Why You Should Go on a “Friend-moon” Vacation.
A Trip That Recharges Your Soul and Your Friendship
My best friend and I were both feeling burnt out by our family and work responsibilities. So we planned a “friend-moon”—a four-day trip to a cabin in the woods, just the two of us. There was no schedule, no catering to kids’ needs or partner’s preferences. We talked for hours, read books in silence, and laughed until we cried. It was more restorative than any family vacation I’ve ever taken. It was a powerful reminder that nurturing our platonic friendships with that level of intention is essential.
The Small, Consistent Actions That Build Strong Friendships.
Friendship Is Built in the 5-Minute Moments
Grand gestures are nice, but true, lasting friendship is built in the small, consistent moments. It’s the friend who sends a quick “thinking of you” text for no reason. It’s the one who remembers a tiny detail you told them weeks ago and asks about it. It’s the one who sends a funny meme on a hard day. These are the five-minute, low-effort actions that say, “You are on my mind. You matter to me.” It’s the daily accumulation of these small deposits that creates a rich and unbreakable bond.
A Letter of Gratitude to My Best Friend.
For the Unspoken Understanding
To my best friend: I don’t say it enough, but thank you. Thank you for the nights you just listened. Thank you for knowing when I need advice and when I just need a silent presence. Thank you for remembering the stories and the names of the people in my life so I don’t have to give you a backstory every time. Thank you for being the one person I don’t have to perform for. In a world that demands so much, our friendship is the place I can just be.